Rumor and Innuendo

Weight Watchers is coming up with a new program. Or they’re revamping their program. Or updating it to conform with the latest science. Or something.

We’re not really sure. It’s not out yet. We have no official notice of what the plan entails, and so we’re left to scavenge the internet for rumor and innuendo, and to indulge in rampant speculation.

Oh, yeah!!! This will be fun!

We’ve done some intensive googling on the subject, and it seems that the new points system will emphasize the quality of food.

OK, what the heck does that mean?

Well, traditionally, the Weight Watchers program didn’t really give more, um, weight (pardon the expression) to foods that were more nutritious than others. You could burn the same number of Weight Watchers points eating a healthy salad, one of those Weight Watchers packaged peanut butter cup desserts, or a bite of a Snickers bar.

The new program will apparently adjust the points to encourage you to eat the salad instead of the preservatives.

Fruit and veggies will have zero points. Nice! Pass the bananas, please.

There will be something called “Real Living” bonus points. This is supposed to help you deal with parties and other “snacky” situations. You get exactly 49 of these. (You’d think they’d round it off to 50, but we guess not.)

Are these the same as those weekly bonus points they give you now? We have no idea. We haven’t seen an official press release, nor has Bunny had this explained to her at a Weight Watchers meeting. (Perhaps the odds of this happening would increase if she actually attended a meeting. We’re working on that.)

An unfortunate byproduct of the new program, purportedly, is that you can no longer pick up a package and easily calculate the points in your head, as you can now. Currently, you simply divide the fiber grams by the fat grams, add in the square root of the per-serving calories and multiply by pi.

Or something like that. Whatever it is, you apparently won’t be able to do it in your head anymore. You will have to buy a special calculator. Ka-ching!

So there you have it. Enough rumor-mongering. Off to drag Bunny to the gym!

We’re Baaaack

from our vacation, and a week of the flu. Perhaps we should have gotten that flu shot after all.

Bunny and Buff are on a cruise with Trudy and her hubby. (Remember Trudy, Bunny’s friend who chickened out halfway through Project Sailaway?)

Trudy

Bunny says she has been walking a lot, and has visited the gym twice. Better than nothing.

Bunny says she is tired of food. We’ll see how long that lasts.

So, we hear that Weight Watchers is making big changes for 2011. There’s no official pronouncement of the details of the change, but we did some Googling, and it sounds as though they are rethinking the points calculations of food due to changes in science.

Weight Watchers is out of date? Oh dear.

If you have any details, please share. We’re getting ready for Bunny’s return from the high seas, and we have big plans for her.

Commitment

Buff has started bringing cookies in the house, and Bunny has started grabbing a handful here and there, a couple of times a day (or three).

Mindless eating.

Bunny has Weight Watchers set up on a monthly autopay, but can never get to the meetings because of her job. She used to be able to make it to the Center in time to at least weigh in and maybe catch the last five minutes of the meeting, but she hasn’t even been able to do that for a couple of months. She gets stuck late at work, and traffic is awful.

It doesn’t help that Weight Watchers, a huge, global corporation, still runs its Centers like a mom and pop organization. They’re open only around meeting time, shutting down very soon thereafter, and there are only a few meetings a week. And only one or two Bunny even has a chance of making.

She tried to do Weight Watcher online, but she needs the forced weigh-in to stay on track. This isn’t working, and at this point Bunny’s not even following the food plan. Especially since the cookies arrived.

So. Bye-bye Weight Watchers, see ya later.

Hello, weekly weigh-in at the gym. This is good. That means she has to go to the gym at least once a week, something she has also not been doing in the last couple of months.

Bunny also commits to following the Weight Watchers food plan, counting her points, renewing her efforts, and keeping a food diary.

So. Let’s review the commitments Bunny makes today:

• Weekly weigh-in at the gym.
• Keep food diary.
• Follow Weight Watchers plan.
• Refocus and renew effort.
• No cookies.
• Make Trudy jealous when she gets on board that ship later this year.

Let’s do it!!!

Inside Bunny’s Head

We eavesdropped a bit on what’s going on inside Bunny’s head.

Bunny’s excited because she can button the button on the black pants now without digging a deep channel into her skin. This is a change since last week. The pants are still a little snug in the buns, so she still has to wear The Sweater at work.

You know about The Sweater? The all-purpose sweater worn at work over any and all outfits. To go with anything, it must be black (Bunny’s too big for white). She wears The Sweater not because she’s cold (in fact, since she’s BunnyPausal, sometimes she’s sweating like a pig in The Sweater), but it’s long enough to cover her behind and shield the world from the sight of her bumpy hips and tummy, and consequently it makes her feel less self-conscious. So, many days it stays on unless she’s locked inside her office. It’s a security blanket in cardigan form.

Bunny would like to feel good enough about herself to get rid of The Sweater.

Bunny’s annoyed that she has several events this week that will require her to eat out. This takes her off her routine, and makes her guess at what’s the best food choice. Right now, she’d like to stick to her shakes and carrots and tomatoes and protein bars, not have to think about whether to eat this or that, and GET THE TRAIN ROLLING!!! She does NOT want to lose to Trudy again this week. (That girl sure can gloat.)

Bunny’s anxious to get two her next two goals, both of which are within 5 lbs. One is the Weight Watchers Yellow Star, which signifies a loss of 5% of her total body weight. She actually hit that one a few months ago, but drifted up a tad. She wants that back. Now. (Will they give her another Yellow Star, even though she already earned it? We’re thinking yes. They’re very nice and supportive at Weight Watchers.)

The other thing she has her eye on is a great big number. Of course we’re not allowed to disclose her actual weight, but she’s very close to reaching and dipping below a nice round number. She’s very excited about that, and is quite impatient about achieving that goal.

Finally, Bunny’s excited because her jeans are getting a little baggy.

Bunny’s buns are shrinking!!!

The Results Show

Bunny had to go back to Weight Watchers for her post-vacation weigh-in tonight.

Despite her good efforts since her return home, she was not expecting the best. Nor were we.

She walked into the Weight Watchers center, checked in, and bravely approached the scale.

She put down her purse. Took off her shoes. Her sweater. Her glasses. Her watch. Her earrings.

She considered taking off her wedding ring, but she was afraid she couldn’t get it off. That would be just TOO depressing.

She stepped onto the scale. She considered trying to hold onto the edge of the desk, but figured they were probably onto that one.

Ready?

(We’re going for Ryan Seacrest on American Idol here. Go with it, OK?)

The results are in….

(dramatic pause)

America voted…

(another dramatic pause)

Bunny.

(yes, another)

You are...

(we’re almost done)

SAFE!!

Despite the chocolate PancakesWafflesBananaBreadMuffinsMartinisCookiesCake…

Despite the steak, the lobster, the steak AND lobster…

Despite the dinner rolls, the cinnamon rolls, the fat rolls (no, that’s something else)…

Despite the passionberry duo, the apple pie, the a la mode, the pizza, the eggs benedict and God knows what else…

And despite various and sundry Potable Potentates (no, that’s not it…what’s that category they use on Jeopardy? … oh poo … hold on … google google google … AH!

Despite various and sundry Potent Potables…

Despite all that…

Bunny gained on her vacation…

LESS THAN A POUND?

What?!

Zero Point Eight.

Eight-tenths of a pound.

That’s ALL.

THAT’S ALL???!!

THAT’S ALL!!!

Bunny’s collateral damage on her vacation was PRACTICALLY NOTHING!

Less than a pound? ONE pound? LESS? Not even ONE pound?

ARE THEY KIDDING!???

She can get that back by next week!!!!

OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

CUE THE BUNNY DANCE!!!!

Back in Focus

Counting Weight Watchers points is a task. Like all tasks, it gets tiresome and boring.

The first sign that the butter is slipping off the bread is when you stop entering the food you eat into your food diary. In Bunny’s case, the food diary is online, but it doesn’t matter whether you keep your diary with a software program, on an official form, in a little memo pad, or in lipstick on the wall of your house.

It’s the process that counts.

And ultimately it doesn’t really matter if you write down exactly what you ate, either. Bunny’s morning shake can be entered as “shake” and the points count. She used to write down every single ingredient and their amounts, and that got old fast. Nobody ever sees her diary. “Shake” is just fine.

It’s no big deal if she counts the number of servings of each kind of food she has consumed, either. There’s a place to mark down how many fruits you have eaten that day, how many protein servings, whether you’ve gotten in your daily dose of olive oil, and how much water you’ve chugged down. Even whether you took your vitamin. Stupidly, there’s a place to count your servings of veggies. The vast majority of veggies are unlimited on the Weight Watchers plan, so this seems silly to Bunny. She never bothers with that. And that works fine for her.

What is important, at least in Bunny’s case, is the process. She is successful when she is engaged. Fully conscious of what she is eating. This is 4 points. This is 1 point. I should order this instead of that, hold the whatever and put the do-dads on the side, please.

She starts to slip out of the habit when she gets lazy and stops keeping her food diary. It’s a task. It’s just another thing she has to do every day. Like putting gas in the car. Scooping out the kitty box. Unloading the dishwasher.

If she didn’t have to do those things, she wouldn’t. Same goes for entering what she eats in the food diary.

But it’s a matter of focus. Being fully conscious and aware of what she’s eating and becoming accountable.

And that most definitely does matter.

The slide begins when she starts eating without keeping track, at least in her mind.

She knows that if she stays within her point count, she’s successful.

She knows that she can go over her point count and still be successful. That leads her to just kinda sorta figure that she’s within a reasonably safe range, and skip the entry. THAT eventually leads her to stop thinking about how many points she’s consuming. THAT leads us to where we were the day before yesterday.

The good news is that Bunny is back on track. The picture we painted of social shame, physical misery, dread disease and ugly clothes has swayed her.

She is focused, she is engaged, she’s counting her points, and she understands what’s at stake. And she’s fine with it.

She seems to get tangled up and lose focus when she doesn’t know how to count a particular meal, usually at a restaurant. So we gave her a quick fix.

If it’s a reasonable portion of something that’s reasonably in line with what she should be eating, count it as 10 points.

If she ate too much of something ok, or ate some of something not so ok (like a piece of cake), count it as 15 points and move on.

Bunny gets 30 points a day, with an extra 35 points to bail her out during the week.

So Bunny’s back on track. Think good thoughts.

And thanks for reading. You’re helping to keep Bunny motivated. She doesn’t want to fail the nice people who take the time and effort to follow her journey.

Let’s keep the pressure on!

Bunny’s First Yellow Star!

Bunny earned a yellow star tonight.

It’s a paper star, basically a Post-It note in the shape of a star.

It means that as of tonight’s weigh-in, Bunny has lost 5% of her starting body weight.

The nice lady at Weight Watchers wrote Bunny’s name on her yellow paper star, and the group leader posted it up on the meeting room board.

Thirteen pounds. Bunny’s cat weighs about that much. She finds it hard to believe she has lost an entire cat, because she really doesn’t see it, but on the other hand, she has noticed that her clothes are getting a little baggy.

She also has a one-pound start on the NEXT 5%!

Oh, yeah!!!

Let’s do it again!!!!

Did She or Didn’t She?

Bunny’s first week on Weight Watchers is coming to a close, and she’s a little worried.  She doesn’t feel as though she has lost any weight.

Of course, we won’t know until her weigh-in tomorrow, but she doesn’t see any signs of anything shrinking, and it’s kind of getting her down.

Without boring you to death with the details of her food diary, let’s look at Bunny’s challenges this week.

She joined on Monday night, so Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday were pretty controllable. Bunny did go out to lunch twice on those days, but she made the best choices she could, and wrote everything down.

Friday night, she and Buff went out to dinner, and from Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon, they were out of town visiting a friend. One out-to-dinner, one fast-food dinner, one lunch at a frou-frou salad bar.

All the while, Bunny made her best attempt to calculate the correct number of Weight Watchers points for everything. She stayed within her daily points, and didn’t come close to using up that weekly buffer thing Weight Watchers allows you. What’s it called?

Bunny, toss us your iPhone, would you?

OK. Weight Watchers Mobile, a very handy little iPhone app (more on that in another post), says that Bunny’s Weekly Remaining Points Values = 30. She started with 35. Those are points over and above her daily allotment. She only used 5. Pretty good, right?

Of course, it’s possible that her calculations were way off, but her efforts at calculating seemed quite reasonable. But sometimes you run into quandries:

A Burger King TenderGrill sandwich is 11.5 points, but Bunny didn’t eat the top of the bun, or the mayo. And she added tomatoes. She guessed that should count as 8.5 points.

She had a tri-tip salad with gorgonzola crumbles and a dressing that involved tomatoes and mint. The restaurant is so sorry, but they don’t share recipes and they don’t provide nutritional information. But thanks for coming! Would you like another basket of you-don’t-want-to-know-how-many-points garlic rolls?

Bunny had a glass of wine at a nice restaurant, and another in a plastic cup at a theater. The former looked like 6 or 7 ounces, the latter maybe 3.  She could have asked the bartenders how many ounces they were, but, well, she didn’t. Bunny is just not good at asking those kinds of questions. So she guessed. Weight Watchers says wine is 2 points. She counted both as 5.

Bunny carefully chose a little this and a little that from a high-end salad bar one day for lunch. She selected 2 asparagus spears (there was dressing), 4 or 5 cute little pillow ravioli things, some strawberries, a small scoop of some tasty brown-rice-something-or-other, a couple of ounces of skinless chicken that was cooked in something that looked benign, a few spinach leaves and tomatoes, and a sourdough roll with butter. Pretty good choices, but again, only the chef knows what’s really in it, and they don’t like to share. She guessed and counted the whole mess as 12 points, including the roll (which she ate, even though as she was eating it she was thinking that she didn’t really want it).

And how many points do you suppose are in 8 piddly little pretzels in the little bag they give you on an airplane with your coffee? We went for one point.

This point-counting thing is hardly an exact science, unless you make everything yourself at home, and weigh everything. That’s not real life. The trick is learning how to come close to the right amounts, make intelligent estimations, and not put a bag over your head and pretend that a big slice of apple pie a la mode counts the same as an apple, or that half a bottle of salad dressing counts as one serving.

We think Bunny has been realistic this week, but maybe she just ate out too many times.

Or maybe she lost weight.

We hope so. Next week isn’t looking any better.

We’ll see.

Watch Out, Weight Watchers, Here Comes Bunny!

Today is Weight Watchers Day!

Bunny is actually quite excited!

She’s going to sign (back) up after work today. She’s a WW Lifetime Member, returning again for the third or fourth time.

It works if you stick with it.

IF you stick with it.

Well, she’s going to do it this time!

Bunny is quite sick and tired of being bigger than the average bunny. The flight home from her recent vacation really drove it home for her.

She didn’t like being squished into the airline seat.

She was annoyed at not being able to find the plug for her headphones on the side panel of the armrest without standing up because her leg blocked the controls.

She was quite disturbed when the beverage cart and everyone who walked down the aisle of the plane smacked into her arm.

Is it HER fault her arm sticks out into the aisle?

Well…yes.

Her ankles were swollen after the 7-hour flight, and her knees and legs still weren’t happy the next day.

Bunny is, to put it bluntly, sick of feeling like a fat old lady. She’s ready to hit this weight-loss thing full-blast!

It’s about time!

Today, she made a special effort to eat well. She brought her yogurt and cheese sticks and a not-too-huge apple. She brought a WW SmartOne to have for lunch. After she picks up her WW information, she’s going straight to the market to shop for a bunch of healthy food.

Then the boss invited her out to lunch.

Oh, boy.  When the boss says lunch, she doesn’t mean Taco Bell.

Truffled chicken with mushroom risotto . . . (only) one piece of crusty French bread (yes, with butter) . . . no dessert, thank you, and regular iced tea instead of that nice frou-frou pomegranate lemonade.

Mmmmm…

How many Weight Watchers points is that?

Oh, well, she hasn’t signed up yet!

Bunny the Gimp

Sorry we’ve been away for a bit. We’ve been on a cruise with Bunny and Buff! (You know how they say you can get internet access on a cruise ship? Don’t buy it. It’s crazy expensive and slower than Bunny running a marathon.) Great cruise, but we’re happy to be back home with our cable modem!

We had big plans to post articles while we were sailing, telling you all about Bunny’s good food choices, the exercise classes we dragged her to she took, all the walking and swimming she did, and how much weight she was losing despite the fact that she was living on a floating buffet table. We had it all planned out. We were going to work that girl ragged!

And then, it happened.

The day we sailed, before we hopped in the cab to go board the cruise ship, Bunny was feeling great. She was excited about her vacation, and ready to go. She was doing her morning ritual, and while she was leaning over the sink washing her face . . .

A Ninja jumped out of the shower and plunged his sword into her back!!!!

Can you believe it????

Well, actually, she pulled a muscle in her lower back, and did it so effectively that for the next two days she felt as though a sword had been plunged into her back. She couldn’t stand up straight, and could only walk tilted forward and severely to her right, with an occasional scream as the sword shifted position.

She was a hot mess!

Down the drain went our plans to get her to the gym. She couldn’t even walk up and down stairs for the first four days. She got better by the end of the cruise, but no gym for Bunny. She wasn’t bad about her food choices, but she did have wine with dinner and a couple of Bunny Coladas, so we’re quite sure she left the ship with more than she had when she came aboard.

Here’s what’s really irritating. This woman would not have pulled a muscle in the course of a simple, everyday activity like washing her face if she had been exercising and stretching her muscles as a matter of routine.

We told you so!!!!

We have to get this woman to start losing weight and exercising. So far, things are moving kind of slowly.

So here’s our new plan:

Weight Watchers.

Good old-fashioned Weight Watchers, classes and all. None of that online stuff, either. Online means you answer to no one but yourself, and Bunny needs accountability. And a scale. And maybe some chains and a muzzle.

By gosh, we’re going to get results if it kills her!