Pigging Out

January 3, 2010

Bunny’s been slacking.

Buff’s been off his diet, and there are evil things in the house. Things like leftover pizza and Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies.

The weekend involved 3 movies and 3 bags of movie popcorn.

At lunchtime, she walked right past the Gelson’s nice fresh points-friendly salad bar and headed straight for Wolfgang Puck’s Chicken Caesar Salad. We’ve discussed that before. This is a sign that Bunny has lost her focus. She knows that the salad bar is a better choice. She’s not in the driver’s seat right now.

She’s not counting points, she’s skipping meals, she’s dipping her hand into a bag of pretzels mindlessly.

She’s in that spiral that ends in that land where Butterfingers and chocolate chip muffins reign supreme, and there’s not a lettuce leaf or a skinny person to be found.

This.  Stops.  Now.

We’re going to drag her to Weight Watchers tomorrow, and we’re going to glue her Weight Watchers points counter to her hand so she can’t open the refrigerator door, and we’re going to make damned good and sure she eats exactly 30 points, no more and no less. We’re going to follow her around and make her life a living hell until she gets back on track.

If she’s not in control, we will take over until we can shove her back into the driver’s seat.

We suspect this is the final fall-out from the holidays. She fought challenge after challenge and succeeded countless times, but now she has slipped off the path. Instead of skipping down the yellow brick road, she’s sitting under one of those apple trees inhaling Skinny Cow Chocolate Truffle Bars a box at a time, with a sprinkling of Williams-Sonoma Peppermint Bark Cookies (which she hates because they’re about 10 times too sweet).

Think good thoughts, and stand by for the weigh-in.

Cue spooky music.

One Response to “Pigging Out”


  1. […] 4, 2010 As expected, Bunny did not lose weight this week. Quite the […]


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