Muffin Tops and Menopot? Ack!

January 29, 2010

Bunny found a WebMD newsletter in her spam blocker today. Sorry, WebMD, we didn’t mean to call you spam, we actually like you, even though this topic is pretty icky.

Muffin Tops and Menopots.

Charming.

You know what muffin tops are, right? The overflow of fat over the top of your jeans.

Lovely. Oh, yes, let’s talk about that.

Well yes, let’s.

This article says that women over 40 all have a Menopot. Belly weight caused by perimenopause and menopause.

We’re not sure why Dr. Pamela Peeke, the author of The Rx for Muffin Tops and Menopots, gives that blob of belly fat significance by adding an initial cap, while the condition causing (or at least exacerbating) it, menopause, is banished to the disregard of lower-case.

Nor are we sure that Muffin Tops should be two separate words. Perhaps muffintops? muffin-tops? MuffinTops?

Fat?

But we digress…

It is recommended that the capital-M Menopot (why isn’t THAT two separate words…?) should be no more than 5 lbs.

Right.

It is suggested that a tape measure around your waist should not register any more than 35 inches.

Uh-huh.

OK, Bunny’s a hot mess, we know that. But what to do?

Well, the good doctor has three suggestions:

1. Mind–Visualize your rewards. Think about what you would look like if you had no mUffin-ToP and a mere 5-lb. belly. Think about skinny jeans, energy, health. Make a joy list (Joy List? joY-lIST?) What are you not doing because of your capital-M’s that would give you joy if you could do it…them…? Do you hesitate to go dancing? Do you have trouble bending over to garden? Do you stay out of yoga class because you’d kill yourself, not to mention sending people running out of the room screaming at the sight of your capital-M’s doing an inversion? (OK, the last one was ours, sorry Dr. Peeke.)

2. Mouth–Eat real food, not “processed science fair experiments.” Eat whole foods (apparently that doesn’t mean finish the half-gallon of ice cream in one sitting). Stick with high-quality fats, carbs and proteins. Olive oil is something called a MUFA (monounsaturated fat), and those are good. Natural peanut butter. Semi-sweet chocolate chips? Bunny can do that.

Eat slower. Stop before you’re full.  Don’t have food in your stomach 2 hours before bedtime. If you don’t wake up hungry, you overate the night before.

Bunny overate the night before.

“What you do after 3pm will determine your girth size.”

Oh, no.

Dr. Peake is pretty smart, despite our questions about her punctuation and capitalization skills.

3. MuscleWorking out. You knew that was coming, didn’t you? Read the article for the gory details.

This is all very good advice. Following it will lead you down the path to skinnier jeans, health, happiness, joy, social acceptance, all kinds of warm and fuzzy stuff.

Bunny is going to try hard to follow this advice.

No, Bunny, that doesn’t mean you can eat 3 bags of semi-sweet chocolate chips for dinner.

Damn moderation.

4 Responses to “Muffin Tops and Menopot? Ack!”


  1. Do you plan to keep this site updated? I sure hope so… its great!


  2. […] will be hungry? Well, hunger isn’t usually Bunny’s problem, but remember that nice Dr. Pamela Peake’s article that said that if you don’t wake up hungry, you overate the night […]


  3. […] been reading up on belly fat lately (remember our article on the always-attractive menopot?), and the cure boils down to all the usual suspects: whole grains, fruits, veggies, fewer […]


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