Give Me 60 Good Reasons…

March 22, 2010

Bunny has been doing her exercises every other day, but you know…it’s hard.

It’s hard for her to get to the gym every other day. It’s hard for her to work out when she feels tired or back-achy or fussy or old.

As she is pulling in her abs and pushing her leg skyward for rep #13 of set #3, wondering why she is putting herself through this misery, she needs something to focus on.

Something to motivate her. Something quantifiable.

A list, perhaps, of the benefits she will reap if she keeps on keeping on.

So, in an effort to shut her up assuage her and pump up her motivation, we have searched the internet for a list of benefits Bunny can expect to gain from participating in a regular exercise program. wins the award for the longest list—60 items! That should motivate Bunny for a while. Let’s see what’s here, then we’ll make a shorter Bunny List of the things that will most motivate her.

Exercise Benefit #1…Increased energy:

The right combination of exercise and nutrition creates an hormonal environment conducive to fat loss, increased muscle strength and increased energy. When your body is working at peak efficiency, your energy levels soar.

Everyday things become much easier to do.

We’re not sure how to be sure you have the right combination of exercise and nutrition, and how to tell whether your body is working at peak efficiency, so all we can do is hope Bunny perceives herself as being a tad more energetic. (Fingers crossed.)

Exercise Benefit #2…Increased Self-Esteem

OK, this is a huge benefit, but let’s be honest—this can be accomplished by losing weight, with or without the gym. A size 6 feels better than a size 16, sweaty or not.

Exercise Benefit #3…Increase Mental Focus:

We’ll keep an eye on Bunny for signs of focus.

Exercise Benefit #4…Decreased Risk of a Heart Attack:

Well, gosh, that’s just an excellent reason. Hard to argue with that.

Exercise Benefit #5…Decreased Risk of Osteoporosis:

Really? OK, that’s a good one too.

Exercise Benefit #6…Reduce the Risk of Breast Cancer by up to 60%

Again, hard to argue. We’re very much against breast cancer.

Exercise Benefit #7…Increased Strength and Stamina:

Every physical thing you do becomes easier which is immensely useful in everyday life.

This is a big one for Bunny, so we’re moving that up her list. Some everyday things are hard for her. Like getting out of bed.

Exercise Benefit #8…Reduced Depression:

Not really a problem for Bunny. Having to go to the gym depresses her as much as anything. We’ll keep an eye on her mood, though.

Exercise Benefit #9…Decreased Stress Levels:

Exercise right after work is the perfect natural therapy that can change your mood. You’ll sleep better too!

OK. We’ll watch for that.

Exercise Benefit #10…Well actually, here are another 50 benefits…

Yeah! Here we go!

Improved digestion

Enhances quality of sleep (no fair, that’s a duplicate!)

Adds a sparkle and radiance to complexion (we’re talking about Bunny, not Sandra Bullock, but whatever)

Improves body shape

Tones and firms muscles

Provides more muscular definition (candidly, Bunny doesn’t care if her muscles are well-defined)

Enables weight loss and keeps it off (sure makes it easier, we’ll give you that)

Makes you limber (oh, yeah!  Bunny wants to be more flexible)

Improves endurance (so you can exercise longer?)

Burns extra calories (pass the Lay’s, please).

Improves circulation and helps reduce blood pressure

Increases lean muscle tissue in the body (we’ll trust you on this)

Improves appetite for healthy foods (pass the Lay’s, please) (just kidding) (sort of)

Alleviates menstrual cramps (that ship has sailed)

Alters and improves muscle chemistry (Bunny flunked chemistry)

Increases metabolic rate (does that mean calories burn faster?)

Enhances coordination and balance (good luck…Bunny was born a klutz)

Improves posture

Eases and possibly eliminates back problems and pain (this is a big one for Bunny)

Makes the body use calories more efficiently

Lowers resting heart rate

Increases muscle size through an increase in muscle fibers (Bunny really doesn’t care about big muscles)

Improves body composition

Increases body density (is that good?)

Decreases fat tissue more easily

Makes body more agile (maybe she can take a yoga class again!)

Is the greatest body tune-up (does she need an oil change?)

Reduces joint discomfort (oh, yeah, this is a good one, too)

Improves athletic performance (yeah. right.)

Enriches sexuality (oh, Buff…)

May add a few years to life

Increases your range of motion (is that different from agility?)

Enhances immune system

Improves glycogen storage (glyco-who?)

Enables the body to utilize energy more efficiently

Increases enzymes in the body which burn fat (not sure about enzymes, but burning fat is good)

Increases the number and size of mitochondria in muscle cells (excuse you?!)

Increases concentration of myoglobin (carries oxygen in muscles) in skeletal muscles (if you say so)

Enhances oxygen transport throughout the body (here comes the oxygen transport, C3PO!)

Improves liver functioning

Increases speed of muscle contraction and reaction time (good if someone throws a punch)

Enhances feedback through the nervous system (feedback?)

Strengthens the heart

Improves blood flow

Helps to alleviate varicose veins (those nasty things?)

Increases maximum cardiac output

Increases contractility of the heart’s ventricles

Increases the weight and size of the heart (is that good?)

Improves contractile function of the whole heart (Contractile Function? Is that a fantasy football team?).

Makes calcium transport in the heart and body more efficient.


From that impressive list, here’s the short list we’ve created for Bunny, featuring the things that will motivate her in particular:

  • Eased back problems and pain (oh yeah, bring it on!)
  • Faster weight loss (burning and churning faster will help Bunny’s buns shrink faster!)
  • Increased agility (bending and toe-touching, here comes Bunny!)
  • Increased energy and stamina (this will help with everyday functions, and not to be picky, but aren’t those the same thing? or are they? maybe not. hmmmm…)
  • Increased strength (so she can open a pickle jar without Buff’s help? Their cat is getting pretty heavy…)
  • Reduced stress (means a happier Bunny!)
  • Improved circulation, all those chemical things about muscles and glycol-goblin and contractions and stuff, and a decreased risk of all those nasty ailments (just say it’s healthy!)

We’re gluing this list to Bunny’s gym bag!


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