How to Survive a Labor Day BBQ Without Gaining 4,000 lbs.

September 3, 2010

Dear Lord, lead me not into temptation.
Deliver me from chips and guacamole.
Yea, though I stand right next to the bar,
I will fear no wine spritzer, for thou art with me.

But just in case that doesn’t work…

BarbequeConventional wisdom says you should eat before you arrive at the BBQ so you’re not hungry.

This kind of statement really ticks Bunny off.

Why does everyone talk about hunger?

Even Weight Watchers has that damned Hungry monster on its ads.

Hunger has nothing to do with anything!

Do these people know ANYTHING about mindless, emotional, unthinking, just-because-it’s-there eating?

If Bunny only ate when she was hungry, she’d be a size four.

SIGHT is the problem, not hunger. You SEE chips and guacamole, and your REFLEXES (another accomplice) kick in as you reach for the tasty morsels. Again and again. And then more later. And yet again as you look around to make sure nobody’s watching you grab your third plate-full.

As you’re leaning your head back to consume the chip fiesta, your plan for what you should be eating falls out of you ear, lands on the ground and dies a hideous death.

Goodbye, memory. See ya later, focus and resolve.

You forget your plan, you forget that you’re not hungry, and you forget to stop grabbing more chips.

And then there’s alcohol.

Oh, that’s a REAL problem.

Alcohol, even the teensiest, most innocent amount, attacks your clarity,  your resolve, and your waistline. It also keeps you from losing weight, just on its own.

Unfortunately, it also makes the party more fun, especially if you have to endure boring conversations about lawsuits and politics and working out.

So here’s the plan.

Bring something you like to eat that’s not TOO awful, diet-wise.

Bunny loves tomatoes. She has had success at BBQs by bringing caprese salad. Tons of tomatoes, a little mozzarella, basil, a drizzle of olive oil. Make it look cute and gifty, and stick as close to it as you can as the party progresses.

Bunny can happily munch on tomatoes and carrot sticks, and generally stay pretty happy. It doesn’t always happen that way, but the odds are reasonable.

If you’re forced into a spot right next to the chips and they start their siren call, look for salsa.

Mexican foodSalsa is a much better choice than guacamole or God Forbid Dip. In fact, if the salsa is yummy enough, scoop it on your plate and eat it with a spoon.

Salsa can be your friend in a situation like this. It’s her boyfriend Chip who will throw you under the bus.

Here’s one last tip:

LEAVE BEFORE THEY SERVE DESSERT.

Good luck with your BBQs, and Happy Labor Day!
Have a great weekend!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: