Old Diet Tips for the New Year

January 2, 2011

Happy New Year!

Time to refresh, reboot, recycle, and review our priorities. WebMD must have thought so too, because Bunny received an email from WebMD, offering the 22 best diet tips ever. Before reading it, she decided to make a game out of it, and see how many she could guess. Here are Bunny’s guesses:Resolutions

  1. Drink more water. Get waterlogged. Water water water.
  2. Don’t eat late in the evening, and if you do, make sure it’s sugar-free Jello or something equally benign (and yes, boring).
  3. Watch your portions. Split a meal at a restaurant with a friend, or ask them to pack up half of it before you start eating.
  4. Make healthier choices. When your friend drags you to Fatburger, have a Diet Coke and a plain salad instead of a monster-super-fat-artery-buster-burger-with-triple-cheese-and-a-half-gallon-of-1000-island dressing.
  5. Exercise. Walk, dance, swim, whatever. Stretch, move, get your heart beating.
  6. Write down what you eat. The dreaded food diary.
  7. Don’t forget breakfast, the most important meal of the day.
  8. Snack a lot, rather than having huge meals.
  9. Eat a balanced diet, from all the food groups. Whole grains, veggies, fruits, protein, dairy, what’s that other one?
  10. Diet with a friend? Bunny’s not sure about this one, but it does help to have someone to diet and exercise with, so maybe that’s it. 12 more? wow…

OK, Bunny gives up. Let’s see what she missed:

  1. #1 is water. Hah!
  2. Nighttime snacks. Wow! 2 for 2, in order!
  3. Enjoy your favorite foods? Eat one cookie instead of the whole box. Portions! She got that one!
  4. Eat a bunch of little meals rather than a couple of big ones. Yep, got that one, too.
  5. Eat protein at every meal. Oh yeah, she forgot that one.
  6. Suck on a red-hot fireball. Huh? Oh, make things spicy so your taste buds will be titillated.
  7. Stock your kitchen with healthy, convenient foods. hmm… We suppose this is so that you can make last-minute healthy meals on no notice, instead of eating something hideous because it’s the only thing in the house. OK.
  8. Order children’s portions at restaurants. OK, that’s cheating. Portions again. Plus, Bunny’s not going to do that, she’d feel like an idiot.
  9. Eat veggies instead of pasta. File that one under make healthier choices.
  10. Always eat breakfast. See? Got that one, too.
  11. Eat fiber. Yep, the food pyramid.
  12. Don’t keep fattening foods in your cupboard. That’s good advice in a perfect world for people who live alone. Bunny doesn’t, and Buff likes cookies.
  13. Lose weight slowly. HA! No problem there!
  14. Weigh yourself once a week. Preferably at a Weight Watchers meeting, in Bunny’s case. It keeps her honest. When she does it.
  15. Get enough sleep. This is Bunny’s favorite tip! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  16. Understand portion size. A 6-ounce stead is one serving, a 22-ounce steak is 4 servings, and a McDonald’s chocolate shake is 40 servings.
  17. Eat fruit and veggies. Duh.
  18. Limit alcohol. Fattening, and it weakens your resolve.
  19. Chew sugarless gum. Bunny missed that one. She’s not even sure she agrees with it, but whatever. It probably works for a lot of people.
  20. Food diary. Horribly boring, but effective.
  21. Celebrate success, but not with food. Buy yourself smaller-size jeans as soon as you can get your buns into them. Good idea!
  22. Get help from family and friends.

They didn’t include exercise? OK, we suppose that’s not really a diet tip. Or is it? Sure it is. Isn’t it?

Either way, Web MD offers great advice, and these are all very good tips, great resolutions for the new year.

Happy New YearBunny has a few more:

  1. Tell your friends and family right away that you’re on a diet, and elicit their help. Do this while your resolve is strong, because it will fade. (Oh boy, will it fade!) Your best friend is the one who will remember not to order chips and guac, and will slap that cookie out of your hand.
  2. Make 5-lb. goals. If you have to lose 100 lbs., think of it as a series of 5-lb. losses. Don’t focus on how many. Just a few 5-lb. losses amounts to a lot of weight.
  3. When you’re stressed or bored or whatever emotion triggers your food monster, be aware of it, address it, and sooth it some way that doesn’t involve food, alcohol, or any kind of illegal or socially unacceptable activity. In other words, don’t punch anybody or start smoking or something stupid like that–rather, go with something like yoga or meditation. Play games on your iPhone. Tend your Facebook farm. Play The Sims. (Make a sim that looks like someone who is stressing you out, and exact your revenge by making that sim miserable. Don’t judge us, it works for Bunny, it’s fun, and it keeps her nose out of the fridge.)
  4. Stay away from fast food restaurants. Really. No good can come from them.
  5. Take your vitamins before a meal. The water you have to drink will fill you up so that if you eat a big meal you’ll be miserable. Drink water first, eat less, avoid the bloat!
  6. Make friends with one healthy food, and never be without it. Bunny’s friend is tomatoes. We’ve discussed this before. When she’s scrounging the kitchen looking for trouble, tomatoes bail her out more often than not.
  7. When invited to an affair that will tempt you with cocktails and yummy little finger foods, say no. Well, that’s not very social, so maybe go, but eat first. Get a glass of wine and make it last the entire party. Sip sip sip. Head for the veggies tray, sidestep the dip, and leave early.

What works for you? Please share.

2 Responses to “Old Diet Tips for the New Year”

  1. Simply Life Says:

    Ha, I love the lists!

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