The Gory Details

December 12, 2011

So this new low-carb diet Bunny is on restricts her to no more than 25 carbs a day. No rice, no pasta, no bread, no dairy, no fruit, no sugar, no dessert, no fun.

And no tomatoes. Yet. They’ll let Bunny have tomatoes back (on a limited basis) in a month or so, if she’s losing weight. (And she’d better be.)

Yes, they’re using tomatoes (Bunny’s favorite food) as a carrot. (What a rotten thing to do to a bunny.)

Let us explain who “they” is. (Or is it “are”?)

“They” #1 is the Carb-Hating Doctor. “They” #2, her co-conspirator companion in this weight-loss program, is Nancy Nutritionist.

The Dreaded Weigh-In!

Bunny goes to the doctor’s office every 10 days,  rain or shine. One time she sees Nancy. Next time, she sees the Doctor. Next, she just sees the nurse for the dreaded weigh-in. 1,2,3, lather, rinse, repeat. This cycle will continue until Bunny’s buns are shrunk. (Or is it “shrunken”? Paging Grammar Girl, please pick up the white courtesy telephone…)

The Doctor wants Bunny under her thumb. A weigh-in every 10 days gives Bunny absolutely no room to stray, and that’s exactly the way the Doctor likes it. She’s evil a smart Doctor.

So Bunny is firmly entrenched under the Carb-Hating Doctor’s thumb, eating her 25 carbs a day and dreaming of tomatoes.

Since Bunny started this program, just over a month ago, she has gone on a cruise (with Trudy! They made up!), and has dealt with Thanksgiving. Even with these extreme food challenges…

Bunny has lost 14 pounds!

<pause for thunderous applause>

And the best part? Are you ready?

Bunny had to buy smaller jeans!

Applaud

Size 18! Her 20’s were falling off! What better evidence can there be that Bunny’s buns are shrinking?

Stay tuned!

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