Hi. We’re sorry we’ve been gone so long. Your humble blogger has had a bout with that nasty flu thing. Yucky-poo.

In the meantime, Bunny and Buff went cruising with their new friends Bob and Betty. They had a great time. Betty and Bob live where it’s very cold, so a Caribbean cruise was just the thing.

They took a group photo on formal night. Bunny doesn’t understand why there’s a whale in a cocktail dress standing next to Buff.

Formal NightBetty has a bit of the same weighty problem, and so does Bob. Even always-at-the-gym Buff has had a few too many chocolate chip cookies.

They all decided that (a) they’re going on another cruise later this year, and (b) they are going to lose weight before they go.

In fact, they’re going to see each other in just two months, and they’ll check on each other’s progress then.

Exactly how they’ll be checking on each other’s weight loss has yet to be determined. No one will tell anybody else how much they weigh. Everybody’s on the honor system.

Except Bunny. She won’t tell Betty, Bob or Buff her weight, but we’ll tell YOU. Just don’t tell Bunny we told you. 🙂

So here we go with another weight loss competition. We’ll send Bunny to Weight Watchers in the next day or so to find out what her current weight is, so we’ll have someplace to start and something to shoot for.

Hopefully, Bob and Betty and Buff and Bunny will do better at Project Sailaway than Trudy did.

Bye, Trudy!

August 7, 2010

Women fightingProject Sailaway is off.

Well, it’s not off forever. Bunny’s going to do it again at some point.

BUT WITH A DIFFERENT FRIEND!

Trudy and Bunny and their hubbies are cruising together this fall. The girls both wanted to lose some weight before their vacation, so they engaged in a competition.

Not much weight was lost. Bunny lost inches and her clothes got looser, but not much poundage.

Trudy (the little witch) got off to a big start, took a commanding lead, gloated, went to a wedding and gained a few pounds, lost her motivation, and now refuses to weigh in at all.

She’s too busy.

Yeah. Right. We know what that means.

She doesn’t want to diet anymore, and she’s too competitive to just come out and admit it!

Bunny’s done with this. She gave Trudy what for. They argued. They made snide innuendos.

It wasn’t pretty.

So. We hereby suspend Project Sailaway until Bunny can find a suitable competitor. Probably for a different cruise.

Bye, Trudy! Thanks for nothing. Enjoy your size 20 while Bunny heads for 14.

We’ll show her.

It’s Week 4 of Project Sailway.

This is the quarter pole. The end of the first quarter.

Bunny and Trudy’s weight loss competition–their fight to the finish to see which of them can lose more weight before their trip to Hawaii–is one-fourth complete.

Time for measurements!They agreed to a weekly weigh-in and monthly measurements. The month is up, so out came the measuring tape.

Trudy has lost half an inch in her upper regions, and another half-inch in her upper arms.

Bunny is down a full inch in her waist and another inch in her hips.

Excellent! There’s less of both of them.

Bunny can clearly see it in her pants, and Trudy reports that her blouses are considerably roomier.

The contestants also reported for their weigh-ins.

As you may recall, Trudy declined to be weighed last week after attending a wedding. Well, it must have been a heck of a wedding, because Trudy gained 1.2 lbs. this week.

Bunny, on the other hand, lost 1.6 lbs. Her best result yet.

She was hoping for another 0.2 so she could reach a personal milestone (we’ll tell you more when she hits it), but 1.6 lbs. lost is a whole lot better than nothing.

So here are the standings:

Project Sailaway Scorecard:

Bunny : -1.8

Trudy :  -3.8

Trudy still leads the competition by 2 lbs.

The lead is shrinking, but only because Trudy took a step backward.

We’re a little befuddled, because we’ve been watching Bunny, and she really is being quite good about what she eats. She is having fewer shakes and protein bars than she was in the first couple of weeks (when she, depressingly, lost basically nothing). We’re still surprised (and so is she) that she’s not losing more.

But look how baggy your jeans are, Bunny!

Focus on the positive!

She was hopeful that she would lose 20 lbs. or more in this competition. Now she’s thinking maybe 15. That’s not terrible. It’s a dress size, isn’t it?

As for Trudy, we’re not sure what she’s doing, but we’d suggest she stay away from weddings for the rest of the competition.

We’ll bet Trudy’s fun at a party, though.

Trudy (Bunny’s competitor in Project Sailaway) went to a wedding over the weekend.

She ate. She drank. She made merry.

Consequently, she’s trying to wiggle out of her Week 3 weigh-in.

Suck it up, Trudy. We know what you’re doing. Bunny could write a book on making up excuses to avoid getting weighed:

I don’t feel well. I need to pet my cat. I need to return a library book. I need to wash my hair. Do laundry. Clean pool. Read mail. Write blog post. Play Sims. Update Facebook. Go to gym. Run a marathon. Invent something. Help BP clean up the oil spill. Run for president.

So you gained a little weight from wedding cake and champagne. It’ll be gone by next week.

And it’s probably not enough for Bunny to take the lead anyway. And what if she does? It only matter who’s ahead at the finish line.

It does looks to us like our girl did lose weight this week. Those jeans are getting seriously saggy.

But OK, whatever, Trudy is taking a pass this week.

But next week, it’s back on the scale, for better or for worse.

For richer or for poorer.

For fatter or for skinnier.

Week 2: Make that .2

June 29, 2010

It’s Week 2 weigh-in day for our Project Sailaway contestants.

Well, the good news is, Bunny’s clothes are becoming visibly looser, at least in the nether regions.

The bad news is, she gained 4/10 of a pound.I GAINED???

She’s so pleased.

Not!

Why isn’t she losing? She wasn’t bad. She stayed focus and within her Weight Watchers points all week.

Well, except for a lunch meeting at a lovely restaurant with some harmless roasted chicken and just a smidge of perfectly lovely mushroom risotto…

and then dinner at an Italian restaurant the next night, and well yes, she did have a piece or two of garlic bread and a glass of wine just to be social…

and then the next night they went to the theater and she had a friendly and perfectly harmless turkey sandwich, but it was midnight and she was in bed 45 minutes after she at it…

But that shouldn’t do it. Should it?

Could be.

Or is it the Herbalife shakes for lunch at work? Or the protein bar snacks? Is she consuming too much protein? It’s very clear that things are shrinking, so good things are definitely happening, but we’d like to see some evidence on the scale.

Especially since Trudy jumped out to such a fast lead.

This week, Trudy lost another half pound, for a total of 5 pounds lost.

Congrats again, Trudy!

Alrighty, well, Bunny’s total loss is 2/10 of a pound.

Underwhelming.

But she’ll keep at it!

And she will catch Trudy!

And she will Win! Win! Win!

(um, Mollie? Get our girl back to the gym, ok? Fast.)

Oh, by the way, Trudy asked that we go back to counting tenths, as opposed to our unilateral decision last week to round off to the nearest half-pound. Sure, Trudy, no problem. (Especially since our plan would leave Bunny with zero weight loss. Let’s not kill our girl’s spirit.)

Project Sailaway Scorecard:

Bunny : -0.2

Trudy :  -5.0

Trudy leads the competition by 4.8 lbs.

Gosh, this is kind of depressing.

Week One Results

June 21, 2010

The Week One results are in!

Before we reveal the total number of pounds lost by our Project Sailaway competitors this week, we’d like to share highlights of our post-weigh-in interview with Bunny.

InterviewWell, Bunny, how do you think you did this week?

Oh, I definitely think I lost weight. I can feel that my pants are a teensy bit looser, so I think I lost some inches in my waist. Well, maybe not inches. An inch in a week seems like a lot. Half inches? Maybe a quarter? What’s smaller than that, milligrams? Whatever, my pants feel looser and yes, I think I lost some weight. I don’t know how much, I can never tell. Any time I think I lost a lot, I lost a little, and if I think I gained, I’ve lost 5 lbs. I have no idea. I’d better have lost something!

Off to Weight Watchers she went. When she returned, we chatted again:

I only lost 6/10 of a pound. I thought it was more.

Well, at least you lost.

Yeah, well… I did have a big lunch and a protein bar snack and 2 big bottles of water not long before the weigh-in. I thought I’d get more week-one water-loss than that. Oh well.

We have Trudy’s results. Would you like to hear them?

She beat me, didn’t she?

Trudy lost 4.5 lbs.

Four and a half pounds!? In a week? Oh my gosh! I bet she ate 3 hot fudge sundaes before she weighed in the first time, then starved herself silly before she weighed in today, just so she’d lose a lot of weight. Four and a half pounds. I’ll never hear the end of it.

Are you suggesting that Trudy cheated?

No, she’s not a cheater. She’s not above being sneaky, though.

Well, keep doing what you’re doing, get back into the gym, and we’ll see how it goes next week. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon.

Oh, gosh, that’s a nice platitude. Thanks. Four and a half pounds. Sheesh.

The good news is, you did lose a little in your hips!

I did? an inch?

No, a milligram.

Actually about half an inch.

Project Sailaway Scorecard:

Bunny : -0.6

Trudy :  -4.5

Trudy leads the competition by 3.9 lbs.

Wait a second. Those tenths are just ridiculous. Let’s deal with half-pound increments, and save the tenths for tiebreakers. We’ll round off to the closest half-pound.

You’re taking away another tenth of a pound?

Sorry, Bunny.

Amended Scorecard:

Bunny : -0.5

Trudy : -4.5

Trudy leads the competition by 4 lbs.

Stop gloating, Trudy.

Week One of Project Sailaway began at Weight Watchers. Bunny checked in, caught up, paid up, and sighed with relief at a less-than-one-pound gain after many weeks of losing focus.

Next, we measured her pertinent parts: hips, waist, boobal regions, arms and thighs. We tucked all those highly classified numbers in a safe place.

Bunny’s Project Sailaway opponent, Trudy, did the same, under the direction of her sister. Trudy will be using a scale at her sister’s home that is calibrated to match the scale in Trudy’s doctor’s office.

Gosh, this is so scientific!

Bunny’s Week One went well. She walked past chocolate cake two-and-one-quarter times. She kept to her Weight Watchers points each day, and for the week. She wrote down what she ate most of the time. She ate a cross-section of protein, healthy fats, fruits, veggies and dairy.

Actually, she ended up being a tad light on the veggies, and she drank some water but not enough, but we’ll work on that.

Shaking Cow

Not THAT kind of shake!

She had more protein than she anticipated, because as soon as she walked into the office with her cooler full of carrot sticks and yogurt and such, her friend convinced her that they should have protein shakes for lunch.

Yes, we hear you. This friend just signed up as an Herbalife representative, of COURSE he’s pushing protein shakes for lunch!

Hey. He’s not like that. He knows his stuff. He’s a former athlete and personal trainer, and he’s Bunny’s great friend who would never take advantage of her for mere money.

Yes, we’re sure.

That said, Bunny isn’t too thrilled with the Herbalife idea. Her aunt went into it once years ago with the intention of becoming extremely wealthy. We’re still waiting.

More to the point, when Bunny protested that a woman her age with a desk job probably didn’t need that much protein, her friend replied that when you cut your calorie intake drastically your body thinks it’s starving and it tries to defend its weight.

Great. Just what we need. Errol Flynn defending Bunny’s fat. We don’t have enough problems?

Blender Shake

That's better!

Protein, he explained, makes your body feel like it’s getting the nutrients it needs, and keeps it from resisting your weight-loss efforts.

So, protein it is. Some protein at every meal and every snack.

We’ll see how it’s working later today at the dreaded WEEK ONE WEIGH-IN!