Bunny the Gimp

October 30, 2009

Sorry we’ve been away for a bit. We’ve been on a cruise with Bunny and Buff! (You know how they say you can get internet access on a cruise ship? Don’t buy it. It’s crazy expensive and slower than Bunny running a marathon.) Great cruise, but we’re happy to be back home with our cable modem!Cruise

We had big plans to post articles while we were sailing, telling you all about Bunny’s good food choices, the exercise classes we dragged her to she took, all the walking and swimming she did, and how much weight she was losing despite the fact that she was living on a floating buffet table. We had it all planned out. We were going to work that girl ragged!

And then, it happened.

The day we sailed, before we hopped in the cab to go board the cruise ship, Bunny was feeling great. She was excited about her vacation, and ready to go. She was doing her morning ritual, and while she was leaning over the sink washing her face . . .

A Ninja jumped out of the shower and plunged his sword into her back!!!!

Can you believe it????

Well, actually, she pulled a muscle in her lower back, and did it so effectively that for the next two days she felt as though a sword had been plunged into her back. She couldn’t stand up straight, and could only walk tilted forward and severely to her right, with an occasional scream as the sword shifted position.

She was a hot mess!

Down the drain went our plans to get her to the gym. She couldn’t even walk up and down stairs for the first four days. She got better by the end of the cruise, but no gym for Bunny. She wasn’t bad about her food choices, but she did have wine with dinner and a couple of Bunny Coladas, so we’re quite sure she left the ship with more than she had when she came aboard.

Here’s what’s really irritating. This woman would not have pulled a muscle in the course of a simple, everyday activity like washing her face if she had been exercising and stretching her muscles as a matter of routine.

We told you so!!!!

We have to get this woman to start losing weight and exercising. So far, things are moving kind of slowly.

So here’s our new plan:

Weight Watchers.

Good old-fashioned Weight Watchers, classes and all. None of that online stuff, either. Online means you answer to no one but yourself, and Bunny needs accountability. And a scale. And maybe some chains and a muzzle.

By gosh, we’re going to get results if it kills her!