Since Buff has had the flu, there are Saltines in the house.

When there are no Saltines in the house (which is most of the time since Buff has been low-carb for some time), Bunny doesn’t even think about them.

But as soon as the Saltines cross the threshold, an alarm goes off in her head. She quickly finds an excuse to accidentally make sure there’s some I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in the house, and the next thing you know, Bunny is munching on a stack of Saltine and pseudo-butter sandwiches. And then another stack. And another.

At least she’s using pseudo-butter, right? We’ll get into that argument about butter, margarine, and all the pseudos in a future post. Personally, we have a feeling butter-butter is better. But not a whole vat.

Or what about Hebrew National salami? That’s a great alternative! 43 Saltine and salami sandwichettes is a fantastic dinner!

This is a strange and powerful phenomenon that Bunny truly seems to be unable to control. Moderation doesn’t have a chance here.

Why is that?

If there’s ice Cravingcream in the house, she’ll eat it. Period.

She loves loves loves vanilla ice cream and fresh peaches! And she buys low-carb ice cream. Healthy, right? Again, we’ll “weigh” the benefits and evils of low-carb or sugar or fat ice cream versus the real thing in another post. In any case, a half-gallon of any of them every three days doesn’t qualify as healthy.

Cookies aren’t safe in her house, either. (Except Fig Nasties. They’re as safe as a baby in its mother’s arms. They could sit there until they ferment, spontaneously combust, or disintegrate into nasty fig preserves and she’d never go near them. She’s not without standards.)

We can’t figure out why these particular foods have this evil power over Bunny. It’s not because they’re salty; she can pass on popcorn (sometimes) and pretzels (usually), no problem. It’s not the sugar, because a pie or a box of candy can sit in the kitchen until it rots (unless it’s an apple pie or involves chocolate), and she won’t give it a second look. (Except fudge. Oh, boy. Fudge is at the TOP of the must-eat list.)

If these trigger foods or whatever you want to call them aren’t in the house, she doesn’t miss them a bit.  If they’re there, they sit in the kitchen and call to her.

Bunny…oh, Bunny… come here…you know you want it…

And there she goes.

Every time.

Without fail.

And certainly without control.

Why is that???