Pigging Out

January 3, 2010

Bunny’s been slacking.

Buff’s been off his diet, and there are evil things in the house. Things like leftover pizza and Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies.

The weekend involved 3 movies and 3 bags of movie popcorn.

At lunchtime, she walked right past the Gelson’s nice fresh points-friendly salad bar and headed straight for Wolfgang Puck’s Chicken Caesar Salad. We’ve discussed that before. This is a sign that Bunny has lost her focus. She knows that the salad bar is a better choice. She’s not in the driver’s seat right now.

She’s not counting points, she’s skipping meals, she’s dipping her hand into a bag of pretzels mindlessly.

She’s in that spiral that ends in that land where Butterfingers and chocolate chip muffins reign supreme, and there’s not a lettuce leaf or a skinny person to be found.

This.  Stops.  Now.

We’re going to drag her to Weight Watchers tomorrow, and we’re going to glue her Weight Watchers points counter to her hand so she can’t open the refrigerator door, and we’re going to make damned good and sure she eats exactly 30 points, no more and no less. We’re going to follow her around and make her life a living hell until she gets back on track.

If she’s not in control, we will take over until we can shove her back into the driver’s seat.

We suspect this is the final fall-out from the holidays. She fought challenge after challenge and succeeded countless times, but now she has slipped off the path. Instead of skipping down the yellow brick road, she’s sitting under one of those apple trees inhaling Skinny Cow Chocolate Truffle Bars a box at a time, with a sprinkling of Williams-Sonoma Peppermint Bark Cookies (which she hates because they’re about 10 times too sweet).

Think good thoughts, and stand by for the weigh-in.

Cue spooky music.

What’s for dinner?

September 2, 2009

Time for dinner. An opportunity for Bunny to prove to herself (and us) that she’s truly committed to changing her eating habits by making a healthy choice. Will she blow it? Let’s all stare at her and exert as much pressure as possible as she ponders her options:

  • Dinner with Buff: A hamburger patty cooked on the George Foreman grill at about 9:00 pm. Eating that late gives Bunny indigestion. (Remember, she’s no spring chicken.)
  • A shake, with nonfat milk, a banana, peanut butter and protein powder. (She likes those, but she had one for breakfast.)
  • Microwave popcorn.
  • A bowl of cereal.
  • A scoop of peanut butter (no bread).
  • A glass of white wine.
  • Diet Coke.
  • Some raw veggies with a little freshly-roasted turkey and a splash of olive oil.
  • Nothing. (Nothing sounds very dietetic, and Bunny says she’s not very hungry, but she’s been skipping dinner a lot lately, and it’s not working.)

She’s going with the turkey and raw veggies. The glass of white wine isn’t under discussion since she already drank it. Diet Coke for dessert.

I know, this plan needs work. And focus. And a shopping list. 

One thing at a time.

In the meantime, the close scrutiny and threat of public ridicule seem to be working.