She’s Baaaaaaaack…

Bunny didn’t go to her Weight Watchers meeting tonight.

She and Buff went away for the weekend and had gotten home late last night, so she was tired, she needed to shop for groceries, fix dinner, unpack and do a couple of loads of laundry.

She also needed to get gas when Buff called to tell her he was taking her car the next day. He would have a conniption fit if he found out she was driving on fumes.

He hates that.

No, she wasn’t up to the it’s-not-good-for-the-engine-to-drive-on-less-than-a-quarter-tank speech, and she wasn’t up for her Weight Watchers meeting either.

So, she dutifully went to the market.

That’s where it happened.

A bag of Crunchy Cheetos jumped into her cart!

And then into her paper-not-plastic bag.

And then into her car.

It was gone before she finished the five-minute drive home.

She’s baaaaacckkk….

THE MINDLESS EATING MONSTER!

Chasing after Bunny wielding one of her top-five trigger foods!

Why did she fall victim to this attack? Because she was tired? She wasn’t hungry. Would this have happened if she had gone to the meeting? What do you think?

These unexpected attacks are something Bunny has faced her entire life. There she is, happily in control of what she’s eating, and all of a sudden she turns a corner and BAM! She’s smacked in the face by a bag of Cheetos, a Butterfingers or a slice of chocolate cake.

We must move forward. Control must be re-established at once.

Pardon us while we go chase after Bunny with her Weight Watchers points calculator.

Wish us luck!

Bunny’s First Yellow Star!

Bunny earned a yellow star tonight.

It’s a paper star, basically a Post-It note in the shape of a star.

It means that as of tonight’s weigh-in, Bunny has lost 5% of her starting body weight.

The nice lady at Weight Watchers wrote Bunny’s name on her yellow paper star, and the group leader posted it up on the meeting room board.

Thirteen pounds. Bunny’s cat weighs about that much. She finds it hard to believe she has lost an entire cat, because she really doesn’t see it, but on the other hand, she has noticed that her clothes are getting a little baggy.

She also has a one-pound start on the NEXT 5%!

Oh, yeah!!!

Let’s do it again!!!!

Ducking the Fudge

The holiday season continues its assault on Bunny’s weight-loss efforts.

So far, she has managed to dodge the vast majority of cakes, cookies and candies that one encounters every 10 steps in an office at Christmastime.

Bunny supervises people, and she hires vendors. Consequently, she gets gifts. She can easily re-gift a sleigh full of Ghirardelli chocolate from a vendor, but it’s another thing when someone who works for you walks into your office and offers you a dozen cookies she baked just for you, and stands there anxiously waiting for you to eat one.

Bunny could say, oh, thank you so much, how kind of you, I’m sure they’re just wonderful, but I’m trying to lose weight, would you mind if I take a bite and then leave the rest for others to enjoy?

Nope, Bunny can’t do that. She has to eat one, gush about how yummy it is. What she does with the rest of the cookies after the kind lady leaves is the real challenge.

In addition to gifts, the parade of holiday parties continues (brie! dip! champagne!), along with dinner at relatives’ houses (duck! pate! tiramisu!), not to mention two Christmas Eve parties (wassail! fudge! eggnog!), Christmas dinner (creamed corn! baked brie! pumpkin cheesecake!), and a Sunday brunch to celebrate a visit from a favorite relative who has flown in from back east (eggs florentine! champagne!)

All things considered, Bunny is dodging a barage of delicious bullets, but it’s still a challenge. It’s just very difficult to lose weight during the holidays.

An internet search on the subject yields some suggestions for holiday season diet survival:

• Come late and avoid cocktail hour. (OK, but not very social.)
• Only attend parties you really want to attend (Bunny skipped Buff’s gym holiday party. Buff wasn’t thrilled, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and besides, it’s so boring listening to a bunch of skinny people talk about work-out machines and who plays what music in spin class).
• Drink water. (At a cocktail party? Yeah, right. Diet Coke after one drink, maybe. No-alcohol Buff is driving.)
• Eat fruit, not sweets. (OK, if they’re serving fruit. Bunny hasn’t been to a lot of holiday parties that serve fruit bowls. Winter fruits are just not too exciting.)
• Don’t go to the party hungry. (OK, that’s doable.)
• Avoid office treats. (This means, don’t go to the lunch room for coffee. Bunny runs on coffee before 10am. And she also goes there for lunch. And water. And aspirin. And ice. And when people have babies, she has to go in there to tape up a baby announcement. Forget it, there’s no way she can avoid the lunch room.)
• Forgive yourself if you slip, and don’t give up. (This is good advice. Once you’ve washed down that piece of fudge with a swig of eggnog, there are two roads you can take: (1) what the heck, I’ve already blown it, let me go find a cheesecake, pig out for the rest of the year and start over in January; or (2) well, that wasn’t a great choice, but I’m going to start over right now, and try to make better choices from now on.)

If you, like Bunny, are struggling with holiday festivities, what do YOU do to keep from losing control?

The Write Thing?

Bunny got a little lazy this week. She hasn’t been updating her food diary.

What that means is that she’s not exactly counting her Weight Watchers points.

She’s sort of guessing.

Estimating.

We think she’s getting a little cocky after two weigh-ins with unexpected weight loss.

Well, it’s weigh-in day again.

We’ll see…

LATER…

We’d like to congratulate Bunny on losing four-tenths of a pound!

We’d also like to suggest that if she had paid a teensy bit more attention to counting points, she might have lost the extra two-tenths of a pound that would have brought her to her first goal.

We’re just saying.

Memo from HR re: Christmas Party

Hello. We’re a bit off-topic, but Bunny wants to share one of her favorites viral emails with you, and we’re using the Weight Watchers reference as an excuse. Can’t credit the author since we don’t know where it came from, but it tickles Bunny since she has to deal with that kind of thing in her job. Enjoy!

Company Memo
——————————————————————————–
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2008
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols… feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM . Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty

Company Memo
——————————————————————–
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2008
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty

Company Memo
——————————————————————————–
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2008
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA Only”, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Company Memo
——————————————————————————–
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2008
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs.. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh “low sugar” fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply “no sugar” desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty

Company Memo
——————————————————————
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2008
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I’ve had it with you vegetarian *ricks!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death,” as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing weirdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!

Company Memo
——————————————————————————-
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2008
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan

Facing the Music Again

Bunny went to Weight Watchers tonight.

She learned about Girard’s Light Champagne Salad Dressing (very points-friendly and apparently yummy). She listened to stories about wonderful small successes from people with positive attitudes.

Then there was the woman who took up 10 minutes of meeting time complaining that the diet gives her a splitting headache, insisting that she doesn’t have time to eat or to prepare meals, and shooting down every suggestion the Leader and other members offered. Just what a support group needs–a bucket of cold water.

As usual, Bunny was worried about the weigh-in.

Between this and that, she hadn’t been to a meeting in three weeks. This and that keep Bunny very busy. But we caught her, and pushed her through the door.

This period of time included Thanksgiving, a couple of all-day tailgating parties, two holiday parties and a bunch of restaurant meals. She was prepared for the dark news that she had moved the wrong way.

The dreaded weight gain.

Bunny’s philosophy has always been that it’s better to avoid this nasty revelation by simply avoiding the scale.

That philosophy is the reason Bunny is in this fix.

Well, fortunately, Bunny was wrong again. We don’t know why she’s so unreliable, or why she can’t tell whether she has lost or gained, but we’ll take it.

5.2 pounds lost!

She’s very happy and excited. Her motivation has been renewed. What’s better than walking up to a scale you thought would not be your friend, only to find that you have lost weight?

So far, she has lost 12.4 pounds!!

Only .6 of a pound to her first goal!!!

So let’s raise a glass of Coke Zero to Bunny for a job well done!

She’s making progress.